"Lettin' It All Hang Out"

We have company today. Last night, Ben and I talked about tidying up our baby-messy home in the morning.

Morning arrives.

Calvin nurses around 7am and finishes a little before 8am. He falls asleep wonderfully giving me time to make and eat breakfast and shower!

Ben awakes feeling horrible, which he tells me while I'm in the shower. After I also shower Calvin, Ben takes him and they both fall asleep in the living room leaving what, do you imagine? All of the cleaning for me.

I was very unhappy. Okay, I was angry. For the first time all week, I wanted to look nice, to not be sweaty, to not have frizzy, unkempt hair, to have make-up on, to feel ready for the day. But as I'm sweating over the hot dishwater, I'm fumingly realizing that's not what's going to happen.

While I'm doing all of this housework, I'm constantly talking to myself silently. I keep retelling myself that my husband loves me and he's not purposefully neglecting. I'm also telling myself that I got less sleep last night, I don't feel good most of the time, and I have another person who is constantly in need of my every resource.

I decide to walk to Walgreen's to fetch some ice, which also gives me the opportunity to process and clear my head. I know I need to talk to Ben. I know passive aggression will only lead to an altercation, which deep down, I know I don't want. I want to share my feelings with the love of my life and feel validated nothing more. I don't want to him in the process. So away I go...

I return. Immediately upon entering, I "let it all hang out." I admit to Ben that I was angry, what made me angry and by extension hurt. I communicate honestly and openly trying not to be afraid of his response and understanding that this more about our relationship with God than with each other.

As Ben's sister in Christ, it's my responsibility to communicate to him in the most loving manner, to let him know when I've been hurt, and to forgive as quickly as possible.

I'm very honored to say that Ben completely exemplified Christ and was amazingly loving in his response. The day went on to be full of love and wonder.