There is always Life!

It's taken me awhile to process what Ethan (and we) went through during the first few weeks of his life. I'm still processing. I haven't been that grateful - not really. I've been angry and sad, so very sad. It didn't feel as if my child was rescued. It felt like he was stolen from me. That he was tortured and tormented by pain he couldn't understand and I couldn't soothe - that the very person he was designed to trust and need wasn't allowed to hold him or touch him for so long. I watched as nurses and doctors handled him until one of them told me I was finally allowed.

I'm sure I will always mourn that loss. But I can already see that Time (and Jesus) is such a healer. It already seems so long ago.

Today Ethan is eleven weeks old. He weighs around sixteen and a half pounds. We are breastfeeding wonderfully. His brother smothers him with love and kisses. He is flourishing - with tummy time, kicking, tracking, and smiling!

Today I am filled with gratitude. Today I am filled with joy. My vision is blurred by tears as I look at the man God is allowing me to steward. In this world, there is death and life and the difference between so slim. But with Emmanuel - there is always Life, and Life so abundantly!